If life worked the way most of us wanted, we would never have those conversations where we are trying to figure out what went wrong and how to pick up the pieces. It would be just so much nicer if things always went as we planned. But life does not work that way and most of us have found ourselves working through one of those conversations. The majority of these situations are relatively mild. Small inconveniences that take some effort but are easily navigated with minimal long term affects. However, there are those occasions when things really go awry and the conversations are much more intense, we are much more invested, and the potential consequences are much more significant.
We are told that hindsight is 20/20 and I suppose in many situations this is more or less true. But I have also found that as time elapses hindsight can become blurry and uncertain. Trying to sort out who did what, when, and for what reasons is not always easy. And when a situation has really gone off the rails or sideways, our emotions become involved and clarity can become even more of a challenge. Because of all of this it is easy to avoid these conversations or gloss over them. They are filled with too many potential pitfalls and the value of going back over something seems minimal. So we decide ‘what’s done is done, it’s best to just move on’. I understand this. Having those potentially intense, emotionally charged discussions are not something most of us look forward to; it is just not worth opening up ‘that can of worms’. But there may be times to re-think this.
I had someone tell me once that we look to the past for understanding, not for excuses. While it may be difficult and filled with potential dangers, there can be great value in looking back over a completed project, for example, that did not go exactly as planned to figure out what went wrong and why. The purpose for doing this is to learn from our mistakes so we do not repeat them, not to lay blame or make excuses for poor decisions.
The difficulty in this however is being able to objectively look back and be able to say, “yes, I made a mistake”. Or, “if I had done this instead of that, maybe we would have had better results.” It can also be tricky because sometimes, when we do not have a good personal objective view, we need someone on our team to question why we did or did not do something. In the right setting, with a strong level of trust, great teams can do this and are rewarded for it. They can evaluate past events in a way that creates greater understanding of themselves, their processes, and their decisions. They take responsibility where necessary without needing to make excuses or assign blame. And they reap the benefits of doing this. It builds a much stronger team both in terms of chemistry and trust, but also in being able to get the results they desire. This is by no means easy, but it can be worth the effort.
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The Proverbial Can Of Worms
We are told that hindsight is 20/20 and I suppose in many situations this is more or less true. But I have also found that as time elapses hindsight can become blurry and uncertain. Trying to sort out who did what, when, and for what reasons is not always easy. And when a situation has really gone off the rails or sideways, our emotions become involved and clarity can become even more of a challenge. Because of all of this it is easy to avoid these conversations or gloss over them. They are filled with too many potential pitfalls and the value of going back over something seems minimal. So we decide ‘what’s done is done, it’s best to just move on’. I understand this. Having those potentially intense, emotionally charged discussions are not something most of us look forward to; it is just not worth opening up ‘that can of worms’. But there may be times to re-think this.
I had someone tell me once that we look to the past for understanding, not for excuses. While it may be difficult and filled with potential dangers, there can be great value in looking back over a completed project, for example, that did not go exactly as planned to figure out what went wrong and why. The purpose for doing this is to learn from our mistakes so we do not repeat them, not to lay blame or make excuses for poor decisions.
The difficulty in this however is being able to objectively look back and be able to say, “yes, I made a mistake”. Or, “if I had done this instead of that, maybe we would have had better results.” It can also be tricky because sometimes, when we do not have a good personal objective view, we need someone on our team to question why we did or did not do something. In the right setting, with a strong level of trust, great teams can do this and are rewarded for it. They can evaluate past events in a way that creates greater understanding of themselves, their processes, and their decisions. They take responsibility where necessary without needing to make excuses or assign blame. And they reap the benefits of doing this. It builds a much stronger team both in terms of chemistry and trust, but also in being able to get the results they desire. This is by no means easy, but it can be worth the effort.
This entry was posted on Monday, January 21st, 2013 at 1:03 pm and is filed under Comments. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.